Middle aged couple in bed

How can I make my vagina tight again? I’m 54 and my new lover is 46. He says my vagina is too loose. He’s ok with that, but I’m not. Is there anything I can do to make it tighter?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Some lovers complain that the woman’s vagina is “too loose,” that it does not provide sufficient friction for the man’s and/or woman’s pleasure. During sexual arousal, the vagina expands, a process called “tenting.” It’s possible that yours tents up more than most.

    But complaints about being “too loose” are often based on the mistaken idea that as women gain sexual experience, their vaginas become permanently stretched and enlarged. They don’t. Even a lifetime of intercourse doesn’t significantly change the shape of the vagina.

    After some women have children, they notice persistent vaginal changes, but over a few months to a year, vaginas generally return to more or less their original shape—and provide sufficient friction for the man.

    In addition, it often helps to have intercourse in the man-on-top position, and once he has inserted, close your legs so that he lies on top of your pressed-together thighs. Closing legs increases the friction of intercourse.

    But the most frequent reason the vagina feels loose has to do with loss of tone in the pelvic floor muscles, the ones that form a figure 8 around the vagina and anus. This is often age-related and frequently becomes noticeable after 40. Exercising the pelvic floor muscles not only helps in your situation, but it also enhances the pleasure of orgasm. The exercises are called Kegels. I suggest you read the chapter in my book, Sizzling Sex for Life “ on how to do them.

  • Michelle says:

    Aloe Vera is a proven natural method for tightening the vagina. You should definitely try it. Your man will thank you for it!

  • marjaneh says:

    how can i use aloe vera?

  • Michael Castleman says:

    Typically, aloe vera and other “tightening” products come in salves. You rub them into your vulva. Follow package directions. They don’t really tighten the vaginal musculature. They contain astringents, e.g. aloe vera, that draw the external skin and provide a subjective sensation of tighter genitals. Tightening products can be found at sex shops and on the Internet.

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