In my twenties, I had premature ejaculation. I came right away. Very embarrassing. I calmed down in my thrities and lasted longer, not as long as I wanted, no “all night long,” but enough so that my wife and I felt okay about it. So now I’m 44, single again, and dating this great gal, and wham, it’s happening all over again. It doesn’t matter how she does me: handjob, blowjob, or intercourse, I come in a few strokes. HELP!

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  • Michael Castleman says:

    Sounds to me like your new love has you very excited…which can excite the nerves and muscles involved in ejaculation, hence your current situation. But it also sounds as though you never really learned solid ejaculatory control when you were younger. Not to worry. Many men are just like you. The media are fixated on erectile dysfunction, but a landmark University of Chicago study shows that in every sexually active age group, premature ejaculation is men’s most prevalent sex problem, with about one-third of men reporting at least one episode during the past 12 months.

    Fortunately, premature ejaculation is also pretty easy to cure. Around 90 percent of men–single or coupled–can learn to last as long as they’d like using self-help materials. Only about 10 percent require sex therapy. And only a fraction of those men really need drugs (low-dose antidepressants, which have a side effect of delaying ejaculation).

    I suggest you start with the article in the Info Library, “Premature Ejaculation: The Simple Program That Teaches Men to Last As Long as They’d Like–At Any Age.” If that doesn’t quite do it for you, try the more detailed discussion in my book, Great Sex, available by clicking on the Home Page near my photo. And if Great Sex doesn’t provide sufficient relief, then I’d suggest a sex therapist. To find one near you, visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, or the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. You CAN learn to last longer and you probably DON’T need drugs.

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