My son told me today that he has an inability to climax in 9 out of 10 times whether it is through sex with someone else or even masturbating. He gets strong erections and can maintain them, but can climax only with great difficulty. He has experienced terrible depression for years, and this all began when he was 16. He has self medicated with drugs and alcohol for years and still struggles with this.
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So sorry your son has struggled with depression.
If he takes antidepressant medication, particularly an SSRI, that could be the cause of his orgasm/ejaculation difficulties. The SSRIs (Rozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox,) are notorious for impairing orgasm in both men and women and also ejaculation in men. That’s the bad news. The good news is that one antidepressant, Wellbutrin, is just as safe and effective as the SSRIs, but with a much lower risk of sex problems. If your son takes an SSRI, he might ask his physician to switch him to Wellbutrin.
Meanwhile, even without taking orgasm-impairing drugs, many men (about 10 percent) spontaneously develop this problem. But it’s much less publicized than erection problems and premature ejaculation, so men who have this issue often feel like they must be the only guy in the world with the problem. NO! it’s fairly common.
Sex therapists have developed a self-help program to deal with it that’s summarized in my article: Can’t Get There? Help for Orgasm/Ejaculation Problems. I suggest that your son download a copy. When self-help works, it usually works in a few months.
If he still has the problem after a few months, then I would suggest consulting a sex therapist for individualized counseling/coaching. Sex therapy has a good track record of curing it. To find a sex therapist near your son, he can visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.