I’m a 45-year-old man, married since 1995 with 2 kids, 9 and 14. For a few years now I’ve suffered from erectile dysfunction. For the past  year, I have not been able to have intercourse with my wife. My penis does not get firm enough to enter her. Sometimes it becomes somewhat hard but within a few seconds it lost its strength. I’m so frustrated  that I cannot concentrate to my work. I have seen my doctor several times here in Bangladesh. He gave me Indegra (Indian Viagra), but it hasn’t helped much. It makes my penis hard for only a few minutes. And I don’t like the side effects, especially, increased body temperature.  I also have diabetes. I take medicine to control my blood sugar level. Four years ago, I visited a doctor in India for treatment of my sexual disorder. He said my testosterone is in the normal range and gave me Scitapram (Szitalopram, 20 mg daily). I took it regularly for 3 years but it did not improve my sexual capacity. Now for one year, my wife and I have not had sex, which is hampering my family life. My wife directly and indirectly harasses me about it. But I can do nothing except get frustrated. Please give me suggestions and direct me to proper medicines that I can buy in Bangladesh.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I assume you know that there are several erection drugs. It’s possible that another one (Levitra, Cialis, Yohimbine) might give you better results with fewer side effects.

    I assume you know that diabetes is strongly associated with erection problems. It’s great that your blood sugar is under control, but it’s also possible that your diabetes has already harmed your blood vessels and nervous system to the point that your erection problem may not respond to erection medication.

    In that case, do you know that it’s quite possible to have marvelous sex WITHOUT intercourse? From your question, it appears that your sex life is organized around intercourse, and if your penis is not firm enough for it, you can’t have sex. But there are great ways to have sex without intercourse. You can cuddle, and kiss, and touch each other all over. You can massage her genitals with your hand, or mouth, or a vibrator until she has an orgasm. And she can massage your penis with her hand or mouth until you have an orgasm. Take turns giving and receiving pleasure.

    Men don’t need erections to have orgasms. In a sexual context (the two of you naked in bed), with enough stimulation and your own erotic fantasies, you can enjoy orgasm even if your penis remains soft. I realize that this may not be what you consider “sex.” But it is sex. It’s adults enjoying physical closeness and genital caresses. I suggest you read the following articles: Great Sex Without Intercourse, Caressing Women, and Orgasms During Intercourse – Improving Women’s Chances. Good luck!

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