My Husband can’t stay hard long enough to make love.
When you say your husband can’t stay hard enough to make love, I infer that he’s not firm enough for vaginal intercourse. You didn’t mention how old he is or his health, so my first recommendation is that he visit his doctor for a check-up. Sometimes an erection difficulty, now called erectile dysfunction (ED), can be the first symptom of potentially serious conditions, for example, heart disease. For more on the many possible causes of ED, read the articles Erection Myths, Weak Erections or ED? and ED Causes.
At the doctor, it’s quite likely that your husband will be offered an erection medication. Currently four are FDA-approved: Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and Yocon. They all work in similar fashion, but there are differences, too. Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra are all laboratory creations developed within the past dozen years. Yocon is derived from the bark of the West African yohimbe tree, and has been a traditional sex stimulant for centuries. Viagra is the most widely known drug, but in a half-dozen studies comparing user satisfaction, couples consistently prefer Cialis because the effect lasts about 36 hours per pill instead of Viagra’s four to six hours. For more on erection medications, read the Everything You Need To Know About Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.
Do you use a sexual lubricant? In couples where the man has iffy erections, a lube often makes the difference between being able to have intercourse and not. For more on this, read Lubricants: The Slippery Secret of Great Sex.
Drugs and lube help many men, but several studies show that they work best when combined with a brief course (a few months) of sex therapy. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex, Educators, Counselors and Therapists or the Society for Sex Therapy and Research.
Because you want intercourse, I sincerely hope you can find a way to enjoy it. But it’s important to understand that as men age, erections become less firm and less resilient. For some men, this begins soon after 40, for others, later in life. But by age 60, most men have difficulty raising and maintaining erections firm enough for vaginal intercourse, even with drugs and lube. With age, as vaginal intercourse fades into the past, some couples decide they can no longer have sex, and stop trying. However, others decide that even if they can no longer have vaginal intercourse, they want to remain sexual. Fortunately, there are many marvelously erotic and fulfilling ways to make love without intercourse. I suggest you read Great Sex Without Intercourse. One key to this is oral sex. Now some people object to oral. If you don’t care for it, don’t do it. But if you enjoy oral sex, now might be a good time to explore it further. I suggest that you read Oral Sex Enhancement.
In sex, no matter what the difficulty, when there’s a will, there’s a way. I hope you can find a way to enjoy sex, and if you have problems, I suggest consulting a sex therapist. Studies show that no matter what the sexual issue, two-thirds of people who have sex therapy report significant improvement. Good luck!
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© 2009 - 2020 Michael Castleman
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