worried middle aged man at window

I’m over 70 and still have strong sexual desires. My physical responses don’t come close to matching my mental desires. The “used to be” almost instant erections and 20 minutes until ejaculation are a thing of the past. It’s more like: half to three quarters of an erection, that goes off and on for 30 to 45 minutes, and then nearly completely limp. Then, the only way to orgasm is to receive oral sex that may take as long as an hour. Of course, this completely exhausts my partner. OR, satisfy her first (which I always do) and go until I’m completely exhausted and never climax. I haven’t vaginally climaxed in over a year.

I take no drugs, street or prescription, drink maybe once a week but am under some stress a lot of the time. I am not as physically fit as I used to be and about 30 pounds over weight. I’m going back to the gym now and will drink a lot less or maybe not at all. I failed alcoholism a long time ago! I don’t smoke.

Can you help me find the info I need to wake up those once had physical capacities?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated, but what’s happening to you is totally normal for a man in his 70s. In fact, it sounds to me that your erection function is better than many if not most men your age. Of course that doesn’t help you, but I hope it provides a bit of perspective.

    Your thoughts to become more physically active and lose weight are certainly steps in the right direction. They should improve your energy, make you feel better about yourself, extend your life, and maybe even help in the bedroom. But plenty of thin, fit men in their 70s share your problem, so fitness and weight loss can’t be viewed as a sure cure.

    My best suggestion is for you and your partner to consult a sex therapist for some personal counseling and coaching. I can’t guarantee that sex therapy will change your sex life, but it will provide a forum for you and your partner to discuss your situation and experiment with approaches that might help. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology. And remember, in lovemaking, where there’s a will, there’s a way!

  • Rob59 says:

    I’m a seventy-two-year-old guy who is still sexually active.
    Like the guy who posted above my sexual needs and desires are as strong and persistent as they were fifty years ago.
    But although the “spirit” has remained strong the flesh has become weak.
    I’ve used Viagra for over twelve years and it worked extremely well until I got into and beyond my mid-sixties.
    Since then my erections have been become increasingly unreliable, less robust (I haven’t had a “full” hardon for a few years now) and they are only good enough for penetration for a few minutes.
    Unlike the guy posting however, I have no problem with my ejaculations – in fact I have as many “accidental” emissions as I had when I was a kid.
    One word of advice to the poster: I discovered several years ago when my erections became noticeably weaker that placing a silicon – stretchy – cockring around either the base of my penis or around my penis and balls that my erection quality improved greatly and that the erections lasted longer.
    (Since my late sixties I also have been using a vacuum pump to get started if manual or oral stimulation doesn’t seem to be working.)

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