Sad man holding head with hand

I am a man over 40 facing a penis problem. My penis is always soft. If I get excited and want to have sex, then my penis does not get erected. Sometimes it does but only occasionally. Why? I want my penis big and hard at the time of sex when my sex partner is with me. Please give suggestions.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Sorry you’re having this problem, but it’s very common in older men. Young men can raise erections just by seeing an attractive woman or by daydreaming about sex. Older men lose this ability and need direct penis fondling to raise erections. This is NOT erectile dysfunction (ED). Men with ED can’t raise erection even with extended masturbation. What you have sounds more like erection dissatisfaction, which is what happens to men in their 40s and 50s as they lose the ability to raise erections from fantasy alone. I urge you to read the article Weak Erections? Or Erectile Dysfunction? And when you’re sexual with your lover, I also suggest that you ask for as much direct fondling as you need to become erect. Deep relaxation also usually helps. Take a hot bath or shower beforehand. Do more kissing, cuddling, and touching all over each other. And be more patient with yourself. Older men can raise erections, it just takes some time and effort and erotic fantasies.

  • Mohamed says:

    Your situation is normal, but you should be aware that fat in the diet can effect erection. Decrease the amount of fat in your diet—less meat, whole milk, cheese, ice cream—and eat more vegetables and fruits. You should also regularly exercise to control your weight. That can also improve your erection. I would like to advise you to not use Viagra. Good luck

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