Free Q&A Archive

I normally get a good erection with my wife but during casual encounters, say a massage by a woman, even if she manipulates my sensuous zone, I do not get any erection, nothing at all. If she tries to give me a hand job, I ejaculate without even having an erection. This can be quite embarrassing. Why does this happen? And is there a cure?

I’m a 43 y/o male. My wife is 28. Our sex life is amazing to say the least. My issue as of late has been not being able to maintain an erection (especially during oral). I just go limp and have no clue as to why when all I want to do is make her happy sexually. Knowing this can cause an issue, I’m seeking advice on finding an answer. Can you give me a clue as to what I maybe able to do to stop this?

Thanks

I consider myself a very sexual woman. I am 43 and my husband is 35. I was always very active sexually in my previous marriage, but now I’m even more active. I now have sex every day, sometimes two or three times—plus I masturbate when my husband is at work. We are even planning a trip to have sex with another woman, a threesome. Is this normal at my age? Is it normal for a woman at my age to be so active?
Thank you,
Rose

My wife of 27 years and I have hit a challenging period in our sexual life. Due to medications, her libido is pretty much nonexistent with only infrequent requests for sex. I am good about helping her get there but our sex is only about her as she usually falls asleep after her moment. Due to my erection issues, she prefers oral or digit stimulation. She still would like to do penis/vaginal sex but it’s very rare that I can do that.

On that rare moment, she experiences a lot of pain with the penetration. We lubricate quite a bit but it still hurts and I pull back. I am assuming it’s due to the very infrequent amount of penetration she experiences. Also, she had a bladder net put in a few years ago and that seems to be part of it.

I am ok with doing her orally, but she is not into it anymore for me, and in fact really doesn’t like touching me down there. I am  conscientious about hygiene so I am sure that is not the issue. I try to talk to her about it, just says she doesn’t like touching my penis (flaccid or erect) with no other explanation.

Trying to come up with some strategies to improve this and so far none. Any ideas…

I am 78 and have no partner, my wife died 5 years ago. But I still have good erection when watching XXX movies, preferably the so called ‘girl/girl’ movies which some times prompt me to masturbate and I get satisfactory, if not strong, orgasms. What, if any, health inconveniences can solo sex bring at my age? Despite my age I consider myself to be in good health, without any history of heart disease, diabetes, prostate disorders, digestion problems, or obesity. Thank you.

I am a 77-year-old bi-sexual. It is almost a year since I’ve had sex with anyone, man or lady. For the past three years, I’ve been corresponding with a 50-year-old Chinese lady. We’ve been in constant touch, with plenty of sexual talk and play. Now we’re getting near to meeting but in the last few months I can hardly even masturbate and when I do, I get no sperm. We will be meeting soon. What’s the answer?

I bought a bumble bee vibrator for use in foreplay with my girl. We enjoy its effect. It stimulates both of us. My question is, when I penetrate her with the head of my penis, I push the small silver vibrator inside her vagina, and I then push my shaft the rest of the way deep inside her. She seems to not mind. I can feel the vibration with my head while having sex. Is this ok to do?

Me and my partner have been together for almost two years–with a seven month break–and in the beginning, his penis would not take a break. Often times, we made love for the better part of 48 hours, all night or until the sun came up. Most recently, we cuddled and made love over a nine-hour period. After that, his erections were less vigorous and he began avoiding sex with me. When I initiated a conversation about it, he became defensive and said it’s my fault–that I stress him out and it has an effect on his erections. In addition, he’s become much more selfish: just the other night, I explained how the erection problem is taking a toll on me. I said, “I don’t have the urge to have sex anymore,” to which he replied “I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to enjoy what I’m feeling right now.” Furthermore, he often will finish before I’m satisfied leaving me in a perpetual state of desire. It’s very frustrating and creates a vicious cycle of me not wanting to have sex because I fear feeling used and unappreciated.

In all honesty, I’m not the easiest person to get along with, I do want him a lot sexually and we’ve been experiencing financial difficulty. What can I do to help solve this issue? Please help!

I am a divorced 86 year old on two medications: finasteride and myrbetriq. In the last 6 months when I masturbate my orgasms have become quick to happen but very weak or perhaps non-existent. Because of my lack of partner this is a great loss. Can anything be done to help this?

I am 77. I married my wife when she became pregnant, and have been married for 52 years. She has always been reluctant to engage in sex, except for one period in the 1980s when I was in my fifties and financially successful, and she would try any and every sexual practice that appealed to me several times a week. I now suffer from erectile dysfunction, but I can still climax and ejaculate. My wife will not have intercourse. She says I lack the capability. She  gives me  hand jobs 2-3 times a week, but will not let me touch her breasts or genitals. I rather suspect that she is controlling me to her own satisfaction, but can see no remedy. You might imagine that I am not happy, but enjoy what I can, for fear that I might even lose that. Do you have any practical advice?