I’m a 43 y/o male. My wife is 28. Our sex life is amazing to say the least. My issue as of late has been not being able to maintain an erection (especially during oral). I just go limp and have no clue as to why when all I want to do is make her happy sexually. Knowing this can cause an issue, I’m seeking advice on finding an answer. Can you give me a clue as to what I maybe able to do to stop this?
Thanks
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Do you smoke? Smoking constricts the arteries, including the ones that carry blood into the penis for erection. If you smoke, ask your doctor for help quitting.
How much alcohol do you drink? Alcohol is a major erection killer. You might cut down or stop, especially within a couple hours of making love.
Do you take any prescription drugs? Did you start a new one shortly before this problem appeared? If so, your situation may be a side effect or a drug interaction effect. Ask your doctor or pharmacist if any drugs you take or any combination might cause erection impairment. If so, ask if there are alternatives less likely to have this side effect.
You say: “all I want to do is make her happy sexually.” On the one hand, that’s admirable. On the other, you may not be paying sufficient attention to your own erotic needs. You have every right to the sensual caresses that turn you on and keep you aroused. Perhaps your wife is not providing them, or not providing enough of them. Think about the kinds of erotic touch you want. Ask her to provide more of it. Coach her.
You say this is especially a problem during fellatio. One way to get more stimulation is two-handed fellatio. In addition to sucking your penis, she can stroke your shaft with one hand while gently cupping your scrotum with the other. That may provide enough extra stimulation to maintain your erection.
You might benefit from more information about erection. I suggest these articles: Healthy Lifestyle Preserves Erections in Men Over 40, Erection Myths and the Truth About Erections, Weak Erections or Erectile Dysfunction (ED)?, ED Causes, and ED Treatments.
Finally, if my reply and the articles I’ve suggested don’t provide sufficient relief, I’d urge you and your wife to consult a sex therapist. Sex therapy can probably help. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.