Free Q&A Archive

Hi! I am 25, and my boyfriend is 49. Despite our huge age difference, we are in love. There is a problem though. He smokes marijuana 2-3 times a day (in a joint or small bong), and it has ruined his erections. He does not maintain one while under the influence and up to many days later. I do not smoke, and would be overjoyed if he would quit. He has been a smoker since he was in high school. It is really having a negative affect on our relationship – though he continues to smoke. He tries to quit, for a few days or so, but generally goes back to smoking right away. Any suggestions?

My penis measures 10 cm (about 4 inches) in erection. Is this normal? Will my size cause sexual problems with my wife? In addition, I have a small layer of fat on the pubis. I hope to have an operation to remove the fat. Are there any risks to my penis?

I asked a leading sex expert-urologist if Kegels help with impotence and orgasm. He said no. He said that the rehab people say it’s true, but it’s not. Can you lead me to any research on this topic? I’m a retired prof so I have a password for all the online medical journals.

I really need to have this question answered please, even if you just email me back. Can a man achieve an orgasm by sticking a dildo (or anything else) up his rear end without there being any stimulation whatsoever to the penis. The penis was never touched, or rubbed just the anus exclusively. I was told it is impossible, but I found a website that said strict anal sex for a man is better than any sex he could ever have with his wife. Desperate for a straight honest answer.

Confused

My wife, age 48, releases a little fluid when she comes. She has worried for years that it’s urine, but it doesn’t smell like it, and she doesn’t feel like she’s urinating, What is it? Her gynecologist mentioned “female ejaculation,” but didn’t know much about it. We looked it up on the Internet and found mostly porn with women who squirt buckets. My wife does nothing like that. I’m not worried about her little quirk (I actually like it), but her “problem” makes her feel anxious and insecure, which can’t be good for our sex life. Do you know about this? Is there something wrong with her?

My girlfriend and I are just starting to have sex. We are both virgins. She is 21. and I’m 22. When we go to do the deed, where is the dick supposed to go? I can’t find the hole. We have tried her on top and me on top. Nothing works. She yells at me. Then we stop. How can I get the deed done? ANY TIPS!!!!

I’m over 70 and still have strong sexual desires. My physical responses don’t come close to matching my mental desires. The “used to be” almost instant erections and 20 minutes until ejaculation are a thing of the past. It’s more like: half to three quarters of an erection, that goes off and on for 30 to 45 minutes, and then nearly completely limp. Then, the only way to orgasm is to receive oral sex that may take as long as an hour. Of course, this completely exhausts my partner. OR, satisfy her first (which I always do) and go until I’m completely exhausted and never climax. I haven’t vaginally climaxed in over a year.

I take no drugs, street or prescription, drink maybe once a week but am under some stress a lot of the time. I am not as physically fit as I used to be and about 30 pounds over weight. I’m going back to the gym now and will drink a lot less or maybe not at all. I failed alcoholism a long time ago! I don’t smoke.

Can you help me find the info I need to wake up those once had physical capacities?

My husband and I enjoy keeping our genital areas shaved, but the problem we continue to battle is razor stubble. How do we stay smooth shaven and keep from developing those itchy bumps?

I’m a 54-year-old man. I was never interested in anything kinky beyond reading The Story of O in college. But over the last few years, my erections have gone from fair to poor, and now intercourse is pretty much impossible. Meanwhile, all of a sudden, I want my wife to dress up in corsets and spike heels and I want to spank her. She likes lingerie and is happy to wear corsets, but she’s not into being spanked. She says I’m upset with my erection loss and want to vent my anger by spanking her. No! I know she has nothing to do with my ED. I don’t want to spank her hard, just enough to hear the smack and turn her butt a little pink. But I can’t explain why I’m suddenly interested in spanking her. Do I subconsciously want to punish her for my ED? She says I need a shrink. What do you say? BTW: I’ve tried the drugs and they haven’t done much for me.

I’m a 42-year-old woman, and I’ve always had difficulty having orgasms. I can come, but only with a vibrator, and they are weak orgasms nothing earth shaking. I’d like to experience some truly mind-blowing orgasms. I feel like I’m missing out. Any suggestions? Thanks.