Worried Mature Man At Home looking out window

I am a 44-year-old man, in very good health—I play sports, cycle, and lift weights twice a week.

I’ve always had a good libido but over the last 3 months it has faded, and recently I have struggled to maintain an erection during intercourse. We still have sex but less often. I still find my partner attractive.

My job is not stressful and I still have a lot of energy. My whole life (since a child) I have woken at night to use the toilet as my bladder is small. When I wake it would always be with an erection but recently y penis is now nearly always flaccid.

I am confused as originally I thought it was possibly psychological but now with me waking without erections I’m thinking physical, but I still get erections although sometimes unsatisfactorily.

Thanks in advance for your help.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Forty-four is kinda young for a man as physically active as you are to experience erection loss. And you say it happened kinda suddenly over the past three months. And your recently-firm night-time erections have gone soft. Hmmm. Before I can advise you, I need some more information:

    • Do you smoke cigarettes?

    • How much alcohol do you drink?

    • Has anything changed for you in the past 6 months or so? Death in the family? Illness diagnosis? Work problems? More responsibility at work? Financial woes? More business travel?

    • Has anything changed in your partner’s life?

    In addition to considering these questions, I urge you to read a few articles from the Info Library: Erection Myths—And the Truth About Erections, Weak Erections or ED?, ED: Causes, and ED: Treatments.

    Now you could consult a doctor and chances are he’d be happy to prescribe an erection drug. You might try one or all three and see if they help. They probably will. But despite all the press erection drugs get, only a small proportion of older men use them. To find out why, read .

    After you’ve read the articles, get back to me with any new insights you’ve gained and perhaps I can make some additional suggestions.

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