I hope you can answer my question its to do with my boyfriend watching porn,
I’ve never been against porn and believe that if i’m not around to pleasure a
man it’s okay, however recently whilst we were driving the screen flicked on
his phone to porn hub, and he asked me to flick it off, I was joking around
with him when i said no I want to see how many times a week you watch it and
it has been opened 7 times this week, hes a great lover and an amazing
boyfriend who I want to be my husband but all of a sudden i felt ashamed and
low and like i couldn’t please him. Were only in our late twenties so our sex
life is ongoing everyday but I feel like I don’t satisfy him or i am not
good, he says otherwise. He said that when I work long hours (Which i do
because i am a chef) he gets bored and isn’t creative to visualize himself
and I but i still can’t shake that I am not good enough. It really gets me
down knowing that he needs to masturbate even when we have sex pretty much
once a day and It’s killing me thinking that I’m not enough for him. I’ve
been cheated on by all 4 past long term partners and know he will never do
that ..I presume this is why I am having an issue however I don’t want to I
want to be secure and not care but do I just need to get over it or what
should I do.
Responses
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I urge you to believe your boyfriend. He says you satisfy him. I’m confident you do.
When you see a movie with a dreamy romantic leading man, should your boyfriend feel threatened that he doesn’t satisfy you? If you buy a Lotto ticket, does that mean you hate your life? Porn is fantasy—and that’s all. It’s no reflection on what men think of the women in their lives. Please don’t project your insecurities on your boyfriend and accuse him of disrespecting you. Please believe him when he says you’re the one.
Why do men view porn? Not because they’re dissatisfied with the women in their lives, but because they masturbate. Solo sex requires fantasies. Men’s own get stale, so they turn to porn, which provides zillions os sex fantasies for free.
Why do men masturbate? Largely for relaxation and self-soothing. Life is tough. Men feel stressed. Orgasm is calming. So men stroke. Many women do, too. More than half of adult women in the U.S. own vibrators, and only a small fraction use them with lovers. The vast majority use them for self-sexing.
His porn viewing is no reflection on you or your relationship. His masturbating is no reflection on you or your relationship. Please try not to feel threatened by his use of porn. Virtually every man on earth with an Internet connection strokes to porn. Canadian researchers wanted to study differences in sexual attitudes between men who did or didn’t watch porn. They couldn’t find a single man who didn’t. Not one.
You’re fine. Your relationship is fine. And your boyfriend is fine—even if he watches a little porn daily.