My wife is 45 years old and does not have any sex desire. I like sex very much. I love her very much cannot live without her. But she never wants to have sex. My sex life is totally destroyed. For the past 5 years, she is being treated for depression—desvenlafaxine 50 mg at bed time. The medication has made her aggressive and destroyed communication between us. She blames me for everything. I am very upset with her behavior, and sometimes want to kill myself. What should I do?
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I’m very sorry that you have this problem. But there’s hope. The drug your wife has been taking is an SSRI antidepressant. These drugs are notorious for causing sexual side effects, prominent among them, loss of interest in sex. In addition, from your description of her aggressiveness and lack of communication with you, it sounds like desvenlafaxine is not working very well. Fortunately, there are many antidepressants to choose from and one of them, bupropion (Wellbutrin) is as effective as the SSRIs but is much less likely to cause sexual side effects. I suggest that your wife ask her physician to switch her to bupropion. For more about bupropion, read the article on it.
Meanwhile, if you are having thoughts of suicide, please please see a mental health professional promptly. It’s possible that you might benefit from psychotherapy and/or medication.