Who’s crazy here—me or my wife? We have been married for 24 years. I love it when she wears low-cut tops that show off her beautiful cleavage and breasts. I love the idea that other men are looking at her, seeing how beautiful she is. But she doesn’t like to show off. She says it makes her feel uncomfortable. I say: What’s the harm? Why not? What do you say?
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I can certainly understand you getting aroused when your wife shows some cleavage. Compared with women, men tend to become more aroused by visual cues. Many men enjoy showing off their lovers. It’s a way to figuratively tell the world: “Look what I’ve got, boys. Eat your hearts out.” But I can also understand your wife feeling reluctant to flaunt her cleavage. Many women feel self-conscious about their breasts and get sick of men staring at them.
I suggest you revisit the issue and see if you two can develop a workable compromise. Perhaps she’d be okay with showing off at home just for you, or in public when you’re on vacation away from home. But no one should ever feel pressured to be sexual in ways that make them feel uncomfortable, including flashing cleavage. If this makes her uncomfortable, then I suggest you respect that. Pressuring her only strains your marriage and hurts the quality of your sex together. Think about it.
If you have been married that long – I assume you’re over fifty. Women are very aware of their appearance and frankly most over fifty are not that comfy exposing cleavage. If she’s stylish – it’s rare for style advice to suggest cleavage over a certain age.
Add to that many of us prefer to simply keep ourselves, to our spouses and not the public.