My boyfriend says he’s into the exhibitionist scene. How can I baby step my way there to please him? What little things can I do to prove that I’m trying? I respect his kink, I’ve just got rough self-esteem.I’m trying to overcome that but it takes time. Thanks in advance!
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Exhibitionism covers a broad array of displays from walking around the house without underwear, to discreet flashing in public but deserted places, to naked intercourse on a public beach in full view of multitudes.
First, I suggest you discuss with him at length exactly what he has in mind. This shows that you’re taking him seriously and trying to accommodate. It also encourages him to refine general fantasies into specific requests that the two of you can negotiate.
Once you ave his list of specific requests, then you’re free to decide what you’re willing to try and where your limits lie. You have every right to your own limits, whatever they may be. It’s fine to stretch your boundaries and try something you would not have done without his little kink, but try not to be pushed into doing things that make you truly uncomfortable. If you can identify specific wishes of his that are okay with you, or wishes that are okay with when modified a bit, then you have a plan. For mutually happiest results, start with something low-level like flashing around the house. He may well prod you to do more, but if you’ve accommodated his low-level requests, you’re free to draw a line and say, “Nothing beyond this.” Half a loaf is better than none.
Exhibitionism and other kinks are not just about what you do, e.g. trading hand jobs in the back of a movie theater. At their core, they’re about the conversations where he reveals what he wishes and you reveal what you’re willing to do. That self-revelation deepens intimacy and can feel as erotically powerful as exhibitionism itself.
For more, read my article, Voyeurism and Exhibitionism: How Common Are They?