A mature female executive working at her laptop.

My 55-year-old husband’s fantasy is for me to have sex with a black man. He gets very aroused by this fantasy. He also enjoys watching interracial porn–black men, white women. I’m not interested in sex with anyone but him. I don’t want to fuck a black man, or any other man. But my husband keeps harping on this fantasy. Why? How can I make him stop?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Sorry, I have no idea why your husband has this fantasy, but it’s fairly common—interracial sex is a huge category in porn. And sorry again, I don’t know how to make him stop.

    Sexual fantasies are often as powerful as they are inexplicable. Many people’s erotic fantasies focus on sexual novelty, situations that are exotic, different from daily life, which may explain why he’s so fixated on his. I personally believe in freedom of fantasy. If he wants to daydream about you and black men, as far as I’m concerned, he’s free to do so.

    But he’s not free to push you into doing anything sexual you don’t want to do. And if he “keeps harping” on sexual escapades you’re not interested in, well, that can become a real drag.

    But there may be a way to shut him up without following through on his fantasy. Are you aware that dildos come in various hues? You might buy a black dildo and use it while he watches, or invite him to use it on you. If you use a black dildo, your husband would see a black erection entering you, but you wouldn’t be having sex with another man.

    Most sex toy sites offer black dildos, including our favorite sex toy site, Adam & Eve. If you go this route, please let me know how things work out.

  • Stepanie says:

    There are many things to consider. You could tell him that you won’t do it, period. And be serious about it. If he persists then you could compromise and get a black dildo and tease him with it. That should be enough to satisfy his fantasy. But, if that doesn’t work then you could make him fear his actual fantasy by telling him what could/might happen if you actually did sleep with a black man. Ask him that what if you were to get pregnant, get an STD, or even like it so much that you would never be satisfied by him again and that you would only have to sleep with much larger black guys to get satisfied. That could scare him away and make him think twice about it.

    Or you could sleep with a black man and have the time of your life. Black men generally have much larger penises than white men. Most are larger than 8 inches and are very wide, so you feel a lot more sensation around your outer walls.

    If you change your mind and would like advice from someone who has experience with both white and black men then you should send me an email at gotbbc@gmail.com

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