I feel so frustrated. He won’t do it. My partner is a prostate cancer survivor. I knew this before we started our relationship. He was so excited that he could perform with me! With his attraction and Cialis sex was good. I thought we can only improve from here. I desired more but was willing to work with the frequency. Fast forward two years, we live together! Sex didn’t increase. It declined. I found myself a little depressed about it. It only happens when I initiate and do all the work. He said it was the lost of job, his health etc. Well he is gainfully employed, relatively healthy and says that I’m sexy—but I get nothing. I said that I’m horny. He says he’ll hook me up tonight (why only sex at night? Another mystery) Well, that was four days ago. I’m ready to scream. It makes me feel ugly. Last night I gently suggested a sex schedule. He thought that was preposterous and laughed at the notion. I thought it been 4 days since he promised me sex. I gave him a hint earlier by having him rub my feet. He whined, completed the task and never touched anything else. He loves my shape but I’m feel like I’m a china doll. Look at it, dress it and place it on the shelf.
My question: I’m never ever imagined myself in this position. I’m in love, highly attracted to this man with hormones raging. I’m 51 he is 57 and I’m baffled quickly approaching angry! What do I do????
Kinda long…sorry! I can’t believe I am in the predicament ????
Responses
Leave a Response
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I’m very sorry you’re having this problem. Chronic desire differences can drive people crazy. The person who wants more (you) always feel unattractive, unloved, and deeply frustrated. Meanwhile the one who wants less typically feels beleaguered, set upon, and deeply frustrated.
Ordinarily, I’d suggest my low-cost article Desire Differences: How Sex Therapists Recommend Overcoming Them. But it basically suggests scheduling sex, which you’ve already tried, alas, to no avail. Still, the article might supply some perspective.
So I think your best bet is to consult a sex therapist. Ideally, the two of you would go together. But if he refuses, I urge you to go by yourself. The therapist may still be able to help you cope. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy, and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
Again, my sympathies. But lots of couples i your predicament have worked the contention into mutual accommodation. I hope you can, too.