I have this fantasy of my wife having sex with another man while I watch. Is this a common fantasy for married men and do the majority of married women have the same fantasy?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I can’t say how common your fantasy is. I know of no research on the frequency of various fantasies. But I can say that your fantasy is by no means rare. Lots of people fantasize threesomes or moresomes, and porn, which chronicles men’s sexual fantasies, is full of spousal swapping in every imaginable permutation.

    Do a majority of wives have similar fantasies? Again, there’s no research on this. But I can safely say that no matter how many women have such a fantasy, only a small minority have any inclination to play it out in real life.

    Surveys of the sexual fringe (swinging, BDSM, etc.) generally show that only about 1 to 2 percent of the population plays that way. Now in a country of 200 million sexually active adults, 1 to 2 percent means 2 to 4 million people, which is why every major metropolitan area can support swing cubs, BDSM parties, and husbands arranging multiple partners for their wives (see Casual Encounters on Craigslist). But 1 to 2 percent also means that 98 to 99 percent of people are not into active fringe sexuality, even if they fantasize about it.

    If you really want to see your wife with another man, if it’s not just a fantasy but something you truly desire, you’re free to raise the subject. But your chances of getting a “yes” are about 1 to 2 percent.

  • camelo says:

    My fantasy is to see my beautiful wife getting screwed by a super-hung black man and me doing oral on her after they’re done. This is what I live for.

  • Michael Castleman says:

    I believe in freedom of fantasy, so dream on! But when such fantasies become reality, many men feel disappointed and realize that the fantasy is more arousing than the reality. Just something to think about….

Leave a Response

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.