I’ve always enjoyed making love to my wife while she wears pantyhose. I recently tried them on myself (in secret) and became highly aroused. When I told my wife how much I liked wearing her pantyhose, she flipped out and now thinks I’m gay or crazy. How widespread is this pantyhose fetish and how can I convince my wife to be more accepting of me?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I know of no solid studies on cross-dressing, but based on prevalence surveys for other kinks (BDSM, exhibitionism), I’m guessing that on the order of 2 percent of men get turned on wearing women’s underwear. This is definitely not news to women who work in lingerie shops. When men walk in looking for sexy underthings, experienced salespeople ask: “Is this for a woman, or for you?” Many men enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing, lingerie, pantyhose—you name it. Some men are “out” about being transvestites. But most indulge in gender-bending as you do, in private.

    Seeing women in pantyhose and lingerie is a real turn-on for many men, and for quite a few, those objects themselves acquire a powerful sexual charge that some men get into, literally, by wearing them. There’s nothing wrong or weird or gay or crazy about this. It’s just one more way to enjoy sensual pleasure and sexual fantasy.

    I sympathize with the shock your wife experienced when you revealed your taste for her pantyhose. It can be difficult to accept the unexpected, especially when it has to do with gender and sex. But in my humble opinion, there’s nothing wrong with a man feeling turned on by wearing pantyhose. I could see your wife objecting to you doing this in public, but in the privacy of your own home, what’s the harm?

    I suggest that you continue to discuss your enjoyment of pantyhose. Once her shock has worn off, she may come around. But if this becomes a sore point, I’d urge you to consult a sex therapist. To find one near you, contact the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or the Society for Sex Therapy and Research.

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