My wife’s ex-boyfriend sent pictures to my phone of her and him with another man having a threesome. Now I can’t get the pictures out of my head and not for the reasons it should be. I have had many threesomes in the past and now more than anything I want to have that experience with my wife. We have discussed it but she is reluctant. Is there something wrong with me because I have always been able to separate sex from love. Is it wrong that it turns me on? She thinks I would feel jilted by it and doesn’t want to jeopardize our marriage. The truth couldn’t be anything but the opposite. It will enhance my pleasure in our marriage. I picture her in a threesome with two guys all the time. Even before the pictures were ever sent to me. That would only make her even more attractive to me. Anyway. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with fantasies of threesomes—or anything else. In fantasy, everything is permitted and nothing is wrong. Fantasize threesomes all you want. Whatever turns you on.
She says a threesome would jeopardize your marriage. You say it would enhance things. Have you told her how you feel? I suggest you start there, making sure she understands that you’d LOVE to try a three-way adventure.
Then I would suggest saying: “At this point, I just want to try it ONCE.” Once would allow you both to see how it feels. (The fact taht she played that way before is no guarantee she’ll enjoy it now.) And agreeing on “just once” reduces the risk to your marriage. After all, it’s just once. If either of you decides no more, then you had your once and can recall it fondly in future fantasies. And if both of you are game for more, you can go that route.
Just one caveat: Sometimes erotic fantasies feel so vivid, so compelling, and so REAL that you can’t imagine their realization being anything less than fabulous. But plenty of people whose fantasies come true realize that they prefer the fantasy to the reality. Yes, fantasies sometimes don’t play well in reality. If you get to play in a threesome, I hope you love it. But don’t be surprise if you don’t. Don’t be surprised if you decide that once was enough.
Whatever happens, I wish you great sex.