Is it okay to ask a close friend to have a threesome with me and my wife?
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Is it okay to ask a close friend to have a threesome with me and my wife?
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© 2009 - 2024 Michael Castleman
Well, it’s okay with me … but is it okay with you, your wife, and your friend? Have you discussed this fully with your wife? Your friend? If you’re intent on preserving the marriage and the friendship, then everyone needs to be on the same page.Solidly on the same page.
In the realm of occasional non-monogamy, threesomes are popular but problematic. They’re popular because there’s just one other person in the mix and if that person is a friend, the couple feels more comfortable and in control than they might at a sex club or swing party. The problem with threesomes is that when just two of the three play together, the third person can feel left out—and may freak out.
The key to all forms of occasional non-monogamy is ground rules—planning ahead for all the contingencies you and your wife can imagine and absolute adherence to your agreements about how to play that way. Your third wheel will also undoubtedly have ground rules. Everyone’s must mesh. It’s also a good idea to take things slowly, maybe just fool around in a trio a few times before attempting a three-way all-the-way horizontal bop.
For more on threesomes and more-somes, read my article The Curious Couple’s Guide to Occasional Non-Monogamy.