I don’t have orgasm most of the time. Is there any way to change this? I am 32 and I feel my vagina doesn’t secrete much. I feel drier!! why?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Many women don’t produce much natural vaginal lubrication. That’s normal, just an individual variation. I suggest you supplement your own with a commercial lubricant (Astroglide or any of the several other brands). They’re sold over the counter at pharmacies and can usually be found near the condoms. I also suggest that you read the article The Slippery Secret of Sensational Sex.

    About your difficulty with orgasm, this, too, is not unusual. Many women have trouble coming, usually women in their teens and twenties, but it’s by no means rare for a woman in her thirties to have this issue. First, do you expect to have orgasms during intercourse? Don’t. The fact is, only 25% of women are reliably orgasmic during intercourse. The reason is that intercourse, as enjoyable as it may feel, does not provide enough direct clitoral stimulation to trigger orgasm in most women. Please read the article, Orgasms During Intercourse – Improving Women’s Chances.

    On the other hand, if you’d like to come during intercourse, a minor variation in sexual technique may help. I also you to read No One “Gives” Anyone an Orgasm.

    Sex therapists enjoy tremendous success teaching women how to become orgasmic–or more orgasmic as the case may be. The program begins with masturbation, which helps women learn who they are sexually and explore their own responsiveness. I suggest you start with the self-help program wonderfully explained in the book Becoming Orgasmic. The link is in Mike’s Picks under Books. There’s also a great companion video.

    If the self-help approach does not produce satisfying result after a few months, then I suggest you consult a sex therapist. As I mentioned, sex therapists enjoy great success teaching women how to become orgasmic or more so. The process typically takes a few months of weekly appointments with homework. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology. Good luck! I’m confident you can become more orgasmic.

  • noor says:

    Thank you for this very helpful response,looking forward to learned more about the links and books yo added.

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