My husband and I are 60 and 59 respectively. We have been married since 1999. The first 9 years of our marriage we had sex 2-3 times a week. We experienced a tragic loss (one of our children) and through the grieving process, we lost touch with sexual intimacy. We are very happy together, share physical affection like cuddling, hugging, holding hands, and we communicate but sex just ….doesn’t work. It doesn’t make either of us feel good, it reminds us of deep sadness. Thank you for your time.
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My deepest condolences. I’m so sorry for your tragic loss.
In my view, you don’t have a “sex” problem. You have a horrible loss with emotional ramifications that extend into the sexual realm. I urge you to consult a sex therapist or marital/couples therapist to help you return to lovemaking. I’m glad you share physical affection. That foundation should help you rediscover mutual erotic pleasure. To find a couples therapist, ask friends or your doctor. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
I wish you solace from the healing power of lovemaking.