I’m overweight – heavy. Had a prostatectomy a year ago. Some penile length has been lost, and it is now difficult to reach my wife. Any ideas on positions/techniques to try?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    If your weight is interfering with intercourse, it’s also raising risk of serious medical problems (diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and others). This problem could be the wake-up call that starts you on the road to weight control. If you’re interested in losing weight, talk to your doctor.

    But for now, I’d suggest the doggie variation that puts your wife on her knees and elbows with you behind her. That position provides you with the easiest access to her vagina.

    Beyond that, if intercourse is problematic for you, I’d suggest exploring sex without intercourse. Among older couples, independent of weight, men develop erection problems that make intercourse difficult or impossible, and women develop vaginal dryness and atrophy that can make intercourse uncomfortable even with a lubricant. Older couples who remain sexual generally stop having intercourse and substitute hand massage, oral sex, and sex toy play. I suggest you read the article Great Sex Without Intercourse. If you’d like some suggestions for improving oral sex, read the Oral Sex Tips article. And if you’re new to sex toys, I suggest you read the articles on Vibrators.

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