Hello Michael, I’m wondering if there’s any advice you have for me. I’m a 28-year-old women dating at 33 year-old-man. He’s the kindest most partner-like boyfriend I have had. Except when it comes to sex. I want it at least once a week, because he’s so damn kind and attractive, my body wants him. But he could literally go forever without wanting me that way. Also, we both have yet to have orgasms with each other, so that makes me want to work on sex even more, work together to create and amazing sex life. Talking about it doesn’t really seem to help…unless I’m doing it wrong. What should I do?!!! He’s too too great to leave for something like that but it’s important to me and we keep fighting about it. I just want to know the best way to approach this.
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You have two issues: a severe desire difference and mutual no orgasms. The two might be independent or related. From your brief description, I can’t be sure.
For your desire difference, I suggest you start with my article on the subject. But if neither of you is having orgasms, that suggests a need to fine tune your lovemaking. For that I’d suggest my e-book, which includes the article on desire differences.
If the e-book doesn’t help you resolve things to your satisfaction, then I’d suggest sex therapy. If you’re unfamiliar with how sex therapy works, there’s an article on it in my e-book. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology. I hope things work out for you.