My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We’re soulmates and still very much in love. He still flirts with me and I know he’s attracted to me, but we don’t make love very often at all. I try to turn him on—wear skimpy clothes—and he rejects me. It hurts & humiliates me, makes me doubt myself & my femininity. How can I seduce and arouse him and make him want to make love more frequently? This hurts so bad.
I feel for you. A major desire difference is maddening. And you’re by no means alone. Desire differences are one of the leading reasons couples consult sex therapists.
Sex therapists have a good track record of helping couples resolve such differences. I’ve distilled the sex therapy program into an article available at low cost from this site’s Info Library: “You’re insatiable!” “You never want to!” How Sex Therapists Recommend Resolving Desire Differences.
If the article does not provide sufficient relief, then I’d suggest consulting a sex therapist. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, you don’t have sex with or in front of the therapist. Sex therapy is talk psychotherapy focused on lovemaking—with homework. For more on sex therapy, read my article. To fins a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.