I read your blog from 2019 on porn induced ED and I completely disagree given
my own experience.
First I will tell you that I am 58. I suffer from hypertension and depression
and have been taking meds to treat both.
But here is why I disagree with your article and perhaps might get further
insight from you regarding this condition.
Every article I have read that says there is a connection between porn use
and ED refers to crazy studies done by religious knuckleheads with an anti-
porn agenda.
I don’t fit into this category as I am an atheist and have no moral qualms
about porn use. To each his own.
However, even on the meds I just described I only seem to be able to become
sufficiently aroused when viewing porn.
I even went to a call girl and couldn’t get it up for her, but went home
turned on the computer and successfully got an erection and climaxed.
So how do you explain that?
1. Even on meds that supposedly contribute to ED, I can get off on porn
2. With a live female I cannot get sufficiently aroused to perform.
3. I have no moral bias against porn
And do not view it as immoral. Most of the articles I have read that support
the idea of Porn Induced ED usually point to this as a major contributing
factor. I don’t seem to fit the description of anyone that they point to.
4. I understand that the images one views online are not normal sexual acts
by most people’s standards and would have no expectation that a real partner
would be able or willing to engage in them.
Porn actors are like athletes they train their bodies to do the things they
do like any athlete. How many average folks would be able to do a pole vault
like an Olympic athlete. Very few if any.
So given all this, if Porn Induced ED does not exist as you maintain, how do
you explain my situation?
I therefore submit that porn is related to ED because I have contributing
factors to the typical causes: hypertension, depression and meds that can be
blamed for ED But I can get a normal arousal ONLY when viewing porn.
Your thoughts?
Responses
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Your situation is the opposite of what I usually hear. Typically, men write me saying that when they watch porn, they lose their erections or can’t get them up. They blame porn for their ED. I’ve argued against that idea. But in your case, you have trouble with erections EXCEPT when viewing porn.
Based on your brief description, I can’t be certain what going on with you, but here are my thoughts:
• You’re 58. That’s around the time of life when erections become iffy and start to fade. In addition, both depression and most drugs used to treat it may compromise erection function. So I’m not surprised that you’re struggling with erection issues.
• For men with iffy erections, in fact for all men, solo sex is much easier than partner sex. During solo sex, you have only yourself to please. You can relax and enjoy yourself as you watch porn and make immediate adjustments how you stroke yourself based on how you’re responding. Porn also allows you to sample many different fantasies—and vivid erotic fantasies are arousing. Partner sex is more stress-producing. You have to share what turns you on, coach your partner, focus on what turns partners on, and get coached by them. As a result, it’s very common for older men to function fine by themselves, with or without porn, while having erection problems during partner sex.
• This goes double if your partners are sex workers. For sex workers, time is money. Most sex workers do just two things: suck and fuck. They don’t allow sufficient warm-up time for older men to become aroused. I’m not at all surprised that you function better solo than with sex workers.
• If you need porn to get it up, then fine, you’ve found a way to function sexually as you’d like. Carry on. Enjoy yourself.
And if you’d like to learn more about the profound impact of vivid erotic fantasies on sex, my book, Sizzling Sex for Life, has a chapter on fantasies. The book also has a great deal of material about erection difficulties and the sexual implications of hypertension and depression.
I wish you sizzling sex for life!
Do you prefer porn that portrays specific kinky things or a fetish of some kind? Maybe you don’t do well with in-person sex because you’re not doing the same activity that you see in porn. But I agree it’s probably medications, age, probably overweight, and having to worry about what your partner wants that keeps you from enjoying in-person sex. It’s frustrating because masturbation is sometimes just not enough. It’s not the same as having a partner to do it with. But porn is better than nothing.