My boyfriend has been having erection trouble for a while now. Isn’t he too young for that? We’ve been together 7 months. He rarely drinks and doesn’t do drugs. No sexually transmitted diseases. He works but it doesn’t overly fatigue him. We don’t do much foreplay, just hand jobs before sex. Should we do more of that?
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In young men who are not alcoholic or drug abusers, erection problems are rare but clearly possible. Usually, there are two possible reasons.
Some men raised in fundamentalist religious communities grow up being harangued that sex is sinful unless it’s for procreation. If not, hell awaits. That can engender sufficient stress to torpedo erections.
It’s also possible that lovemaking style is the culprit. You say you don’t engage in much foreplay, just hand jobs. Your bf may not be getting all the caressing he needs to become fully aroused. Now most young men have no problem raising erections. Their problem is keeping them DOWN. But quite a few young men need what older men and most women of all ages need—lots of kissing, cuddling, and leisurely, playful, whole-body massage for 20 minutes or so before moving on to genital play.
Erections require deep relaxation. Many men of all ages carry a good deal of stress. Stress constricts the arteries, including those that carry blood into the penis. So stress can impair erection. But slow, sensual foreplay—if you make love with music playing, a half-dozen standard songs—is deeply relaxing. It opens the arteries so more blood flows into the penis. More blood, firmer erections. So yes, by all means, trade longer hand jobs. And in addition, kiss, cuddle, roll around, and massage each other from head to toe for at least 20 minutes before attempting intercourse, too.
Finally, you guys are young adults. I’m sure you understand what goes where, but you may not be fully informed about the many fine points of great sex. I suggest you obtain my low-cost, self-help e-book, Enjoy the Best Sex of Your Life. Its 135 chapters discuss all aspects of lovemaking. Several chapters deal with erection issues. O
I wish you great sex.