My husband of 34 years passed away recently. When I was going through some things I found a simulated vibrating vagina. It has caused me a lot of emotional pain. I felt like our sex life was okay, it’s not like we were newlyweds. But, the fact he would consider something the color of a baby mouse incased in something that looks like a magic bullet food chopper instead of me kills me. If he were here we could clear the air and I could try and understand what he was thinking with this contraption. The fact I can’t ask he just makes me question our whole relationship. I felt like we were still close and loving, but now I think maybe he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. Why would he need this toy if he and I were still intimate and he he still enjoyed sex with me? I am devastated by his sudden death and now this is caused me so much pain.