Sorry, but I don’t agree with you. Porn DAMAGES a lot of relationships. I know. Anyone with an addictive personality becomes addicted and then it’s only porn that gets them off. There are more screwed up men (and women) out there than you know. I agree with the woman who responded to your article in AARP. I myself lost my self-esteem and sex drive because he uses porn. In my 50’s and I’m still fairly attractive. His mother bought him Playboy at a young age saying it was healthy. He has a highly addictive personality and will take everything to the extreme: alcohol, gambling, drugs, and porn. All those vices go hand in hand. I just ended our relationship to save what is left of me. Your article only confirms in their minds that there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing. He started telling me what he’d like to do to some young women he’d see when we were out and about. So, it is unhealthy! It damages their partners for life. Do you still think it’s so great?
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You’re free to feel however you feel. I can’t change your mind and I’m not going to try. But you haven’t changed mine.
Porn can be problematic when it interferes with life responsibilities: school, work, family, friendships, a relationship. But usually when women say porn is the problem, it’s actually not real problem. Usually it’s the relationship—poor communication, fuzzy interpersonal boundaries, and less regular, enjoyable partner sex than the woman wants. But those issues are very difficult to own and discuss. It’s a lot easier to blame porn.
So you broke up with him. I hope you can move on and grow and find a guy who suits you better. I also hope your ex gets professional therapy for his drug-alcohol-gambling issues. But by itself, there’s not much difference between men watching porn and their watching sports on TV. To the extent that these activities alienate women and make women feel that their men are ignoring them, they’re problematic. But by themselves, I see no harm in TV sports or porn.
Every man has watched porn and most do it fairly often. Porn is one of men’s top Internet destinations. PornHub, the world’s largest porn site, gets 27 BILLION views a year—and it’s just one of thousands of porn sites. Tens of millions of loving, productive, non-misogynist men watch a great deal of porn—and stroke to it. As far as I’m concerned, that’s not a problem. I stand by my opinion. Usually when people say porn is the issue, it’s not the real problem.
Moderation – addiction is never a good thing