I experienced a spinal cord injury in 1976 when I was 25. It healed up fairly well but now that I’m 60, I have been slowly losing some of the use of the nerves in the lower portion of my spine (from L-2 downward). It has affected my ability to have an erection. My doctor had me try Viagra, but to no avail. I need some advise on what types of prosthetic devises or types of toys that can be helpful in lovemaking with my wife.
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I suggest penis pumps, dildos, and strap-on harnesses. Our sex toy affiliate, Adam & Eve, offers many models of all these toys.
Pumps are plastic cylinders fitted with a squeeze-ball hand pump. You insert your penis into the cylinder and squeeze the ball, which evacuates the cylinder’s air. With reduced air pressure, the penis extends into a semi-erection. Several studies of men with erection loss caused by diabetes and injuries like yours show reasonable satisfaction with pumps. For best results, we suggest that you work with a urologist or sex therapist to select the pump that’s best for you or to have one custom-made.
Dildos are cylindrical or penis-like toys. If your wife enjoys feeling filled up, a dildo can do the trick. She can insert it during sex, or you can. For comfort, make sure you lubricate both her vagina and the dildo. Some dildos also vibrate. Your wife might enjoy that.
Strap-on harnesses are belts designed to accommodate special dildos. You wear the belt and attach a dildo. Then you can have intercourse and enjoy the sensations of pelvic thrusting. Again, use plenty of lube.
If these suggestions don’t quite resolve the problem, I suggest you obtain some individual coaching from a sex therapist familiar with disability issues. Most are. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.