woman whispering to man

Hi, I have a question about how my partner talks to me. He will say/text like I can’t wait to give you tons of cock. On one side, I want him to feel free to express himself and sometimes it feels like dirty talk and we do play on that, but other times I just feel like it is not erotic like a partner, but more like I am just a hook up. What do you think? I know he can’t read my mind. I am having a hard time balancing the hot sex and caring aspects.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    You’re right. Talking dirty can feel either fun or vulgar. You have every right to enjoy it when it feels fun, and to discourage your guy from talking dirty when you don’t want to hear it. The issue is telling the two situations apart so your guy knows when you’re open to it and when you’re not.

    Here’s what I suggest: Focus intently on when you feel like it’s fun and when you feel it’s vulgar. Be as specific as possible about the circumstances when you feel each way. Then tell your partner, and ask him to honor your sensibilities on this issue.

    At first, it’s quite possible that you won’t be sufficiently specific and that he won’t be sure when it’s acceptable and when it’s not. Keep talking about it, keep refining your criteria, and clue him in so he understands your thinking. This may take time, but eventually you should get more of dirty talking fun, and less of feeling like you’re being subjected to vulgarity.

    I wish you great sex.

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