I love sex with my wife but every time we have sex I cum way too fast and it’s over. Help!
The technical term for your situation is premature ejaculation or PE. You’re by no means alone. Studies show that from the teen years to age 59, PE is by far men’s number one sex problem, and that from age 60 on, it runs a close second to erection difficulties. The good news is that in about 90 percent of cases, PE is simply a bad habit that’s remarkably easy to overcome. Just read the article Premature Ejaculation: The Simple Program That Teaches Men to Last as Long as They’d Like at Any Age. This article is by far the best-selling piece on GreatSexAfter40.com, which attests to how common the condition is–and no one has asked for their money back. On a personal note, during my early twenties in the 1970s, I had PE myself, and read about the program, which was new at the time. With the help of my girlfriend, now wife, we cured me in just a few months. I was getting into journalism at the time. That experience marked the start of my specializing in sexuality.
As I mentioned, the program in the PE article cures 90 percent of men–but not everyone. If you need further assistance, DON’T call your doctor. Doctors simply prescribe antidepressants that do not teach men to last longer. But these drugs have a side effect, delayed ejaculation, so they are used to “treat” PE. Instead of drugs, consult a sex therapist. It’s quite probable that individual sex therapy can teach you to last as long as you’d like in a few months. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, or the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Only if sex therapy doesn’t provide sufficient relief should you try the drugs.
Even after you learn to last longer, you might still come quickly from time to time, depending on your stress/anxiety situation. In that case, simply refocus on the program and things should be fine.
But if you come quickly, that doesn’t mean that sex is “over.” Your lover might appreciate continued sensual play. If so, you can provide it with your fingers, hand, lips, tongue, or sex toys. You might read the article, Caressing Women: Advanced Erotic Tips for Men.
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