Your article on premature ejaculation really helped my boyfriend. He lasts much longer now, and he’s very happy about that, in fact, thrilled. But now that he can last as long as he wants, it’s often too long for my vagina, and I’ve become irritated down there. I’ve mentioned it and asked him to back off, but he’s so pleased with himself, he’s not really listening. Your advice?
I’m sorry you’re sore. Lasting longer is NOT the goal of lovemaking. The goal is mutual closeness, intimacy, and pleasure (and perhaps procreation). Learning ejaculatory control is a TOOL that can help realize that goal, but it’s not the goal in itself.
Unfortunately, when men who have spent years coming too soon learn good ejaculatory control, they’re often so pleased that they show off by lasting forever, which can cause the woman both physical and emotional irritation.
I suggest you tell him: “Congratulations on lasting longer, but enough already. There’s such a thing as lasting too long, and you’re hurting me.”
Be direct and do whatever you have to do to get through to him. You might also use more lubricant, and alternate vaginal intercourse with handjobs and oral to break things up and give your genitals a breather.