a young couple in bed having problems and crisis

I’m having issues with my partner telling me that my vagina is too loose. I’m 26 years old, he’s the only sexual partner I’ve ever had. I have been sexually active for four years, and I was a virgin before this.  I have been killing myself doing kegels trying to fix it but no matter how many I do, nothing changes. It feels like it’s tight at first and then it relaxes. I didn’t have this issue in the past I would do kegels and he would say that it feels better.  I got kegel weights but I try the heaviest and it doesn’t fall out even if I relax. I got silicon with medal weights in it and the heaviest weight is 140g. Are these not good? The reviews say it helps. I have an IUD that I got put in about four years ago and they said to change it out after the four years. Could that be causing looseness? I’ve even studied how to do kegels but then my partner says that it feels tighter but different and not how it’s used to feel when I would try to do kegels but I wasn’t doing it properly. Am I just a weird person that has a loose vagina? I lost my virginity to my partner and the first time that we made love he got mad because he said it was loose and why would you lie to me about being a virgin. I was in shock because the first time we did it, it hurt a lot for me. Honestly it hurt the
first couple times we did it. Does it relate to my body shape and how heavy I am? I’m 5’7 and 204lbs I have an hour glass figure. If I loose weight will it make it better? I know My writing isn’t the best, so I apologize if it’s hard to understand. Please help me! I’m losing my mind over this
issue and it is putting a strain on my relationship. Please get back to me as
soon as possible. Thank you for your time.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I’m very sorry to learn that you’ve been wrestling with this dilemma.

    The short answer is: I don’t know why you seem to be so loose.

    Here’s the longer reply: Some women are just that way. I’m not aware that being heavy would cause this. In my book, Sizzling Sex for Life, available on this site, I have a section on vaginal tightness and looseness. It might provide some additional information.

    I have two suggestions: First, have intercourse in the man-on-top position. After he inserts, ask him to lift himself up enough so that you can close your legs. With your thighs pressed together, they should provide more friction for him.

    In addition, you might consider consulting a sexual medicine specialist, that is, a doctor specially trained in sexual issues. To find one near you, visit the North America Society for Sexual Medicine.

    I wish you sizzling sex for life.

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