How can one tell if someone is bisexual? Or gay? I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for 3.5. I am 48 and my husband 46. I am in love with my husband but with Corona, we have had many problems: jobs, money earning, distance from our families, other restriction. And for the last 6 months, our sex life has sucked. It just shut off. He stopped initiating. Two days ago, we went to a birthday party and I met one of my husband’s co-workers. This man seemed gay and made gay jokes. He was with his wife, but as soon as we arrived, he jumped to my husband’s side and made many gay jokes. At one point, I saw my husband caressing his arm briefly but very tenderly. I got suspicious. I remembered that they had met 6 months earlier one Friday evening for drinks. Is my husband bisexual? Gay? I don’t know…I feel really bad and don’t know what to do…

Responses

  • Michael Castleman says:

    I don’t know your husband, and from your brief description, it’s impossible for me to know if he’s bisexual. But an estimated 1-2% of men are. Most appear heterosexual. Most are married and many have children. But they also have sex with men, in some cases, occasionally, in others, more frequently.

    I urge you to discuss the issue with your husband. He may or may not be willing to talk about it. All you can do is try, and keep trying ideally without getting angry. You might also raise the issue with the other man’s wife to see how she feels, how she copes. She may or may not be willing to discuss the issue with you. All you can do is try.

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