Worried Mature Man At Home looking out window

I am 48 years old and I live in Serbia, a small country in south-eastern Europe.

I would like to ask you a question. I am a bisexual person, never married, I have never had a long-term relationship, rather a lot of short-term relationships with both women and men. I went with the girls in public but I have kept my homosexual relationships secret. The country I live in is very conservative and I had to do that way otherwise I could have been beaten, or left without a job.

The question is: I have always been bisexual and I have always been something like 55 percent gay and 45 percent heterosexual. It has been that way since I lost virginity (to a man, at the age of 19, if that is important). But in the last few years I have become more gay than before. I think that now I am something like 65 gay and only 35 heterosexual. As a kid I wanted to be 100 percent straight but after realizing that I am bisexual (and a little bit more gay than heterosexual) I accepted that and I was perfectly fine with my sexuality. Now I am afraid that I will soon become only gay and it would be difficult for me to accept it. Could I do something about that?

I have noticed that in the last two years I fantasize more about men and I enjoy sex with men more than ever before and I don`t enjoy sex with women so much as before. In fact, my desire to sleep with women is decreasing and when I do that I am not that aroused. I have a very strong libido and I have sex almost every day.

My relationships with women haven`t always been perfect, they have often offended me with their comments about the size of my penis (it is something like 10 centimetres hard) but my male partners have always encouraged me in that way. Maybe that is the reason?

Also, I have had only ten experiences with vaginal intercourses in my life (for the first time at the age of 37). I don`t know why but I don`t like vaginal sex at all and I avoid it as much as possible.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    For some, sexual orientation is fixed and eternal. For others, it changes. You appear to be among the latter. You used to be 55-45 gay/straight. Now you’re 65-35. That’s not unusual. Sexual tastes often change over time and so may orientation. You’re free to feel nostalgic about your former bisexuality. But you say very clearly that now it’s men who turn you on, not women. Maybe you’ll remain 65-35 going forward. Or maybe you’ll trend increasingly gay. Who knows? Anything can happen. And whatever happens, it’s fine. Except that trending gay exposes you to more homophobia. Enjoy yourself, but carefully.

    I wish you sizzling sex for life.

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