I’m a straight man who dates lots of women. Every woman I’ve ever dated has been at least to some extent bisexual—had sex with a woman, fantasized about women, or kissed another women. I love it. I love watching women with women and hearing them tell me their lesbian fantasies. Since every girl I have been with likes this idea, I’m used to it and enjoy it. Now I met a new great girl but she is the first who doesn’t like women! She doesn’t have any fantasies of women and hasn’t done anything sexual with them. I don’t want to lose her but I can’t get used to her only liking men. Can I make this relationship work?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    Can your new relationship work? That’s up to you.

    But if I were you, I wouldn’t let this little glitch interfere with a good thing—if it is a good thing. You don’t build relationships on women’s erotic fantasies. You build them based on who the woman actually is in real life. There’s nothing wrong or abnormal about her not fantasizing about women. That’s just who she is, and that’s fine.

    You’re still free to fantasize your new gal with other women.

    No one is perfect. A great deal of the work of becoming intimate with another person is to be able to deal with their imperfections. OK, she doesn’t fantasize about women. In your book, that’s an imperfection. You have to weigh her positives against her negatives. Only you can decide if this little negative is a deal-breaker.

    And if you’d like more food for thought, you might enjoy my low-cost article, Sexual Fantasies: Welcome Them.

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