My husband doesn’t believe in foreplay, which I want and need. I got married less than a year ago to a man I have been with for 3 years. My husband no longer seems to enjoy having sex with me. He only lasts for 2 minutes and then I’m on my own trying to get my own orgasm. Yet, he has cheated and I have currently caught him on dating websites. Please helped me figure this out.
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Regarding your sexual issues, it appears that your husband is unschooled in the fine points of lovemaking. His no-foreplay sex style not only frustrates you, but also perpetuates his premature ejaculation. I suggest that you purchase my low-cost e-book, which contains 134 articles about all aspects of lovemaking including how men can gain good ejaculatory control, why extended foreplay is so important, and how men can help women have orgasms. My e-book comes with a money-back guarantee, so no risk to you.
I’m afraid I can’t say much about his cheating or visits to dating sites. Those actions raise complex issues best addressed in couple counseling. You might consult a marriage counselor, but because you have both relationship and sexual issues, you might be better off with a sex therapist.
Sex therapists are psychotherapists/couple therapists who get extra training in sexual issues. Sex therapy usually takes four to six months of weekly one-hour sessions. It costs $150-200/hour, though many therapists discount fees for those who can’t afford standard rates. If you’re unfamiliar with sex therapy, clients DON’T have sex with therapists and therapists DON’T watch clients having sex. For more, read my low-cost article, An Intimate Look at Sex Therapy (also included in my e-book), and/or see the film, “Hope Springs” with Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. To find a sex therapist near you, visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, or the American Board of Sexology.
I’ve been married 40 years. Marriage takes a great deal of work. There is no happily ever after. Marriage is like a garden. It can be beautiful, but it requires constant tending, negotiation, and struggle—hopefully leavened with love and a good sense of humor. I hope yours works. Best of luck to you.