I am a happily married 65-year-old male. The past couple of years I have been ejaculating uncontrollably in about 2 -3 minutes. I also have ED occasionally. I have a very understanding wife and find her very attractive. I feel very bad when I cannot please her. We had a good sex life until these issues started. I would love any input.

Responses

  • Michael Castleman says:

    About your PE: Most people believe that premature ejaculation is a problem only for young men. It’s not. It’s an issue for approximately 25% of older men, too. Emotional stress is a big contributor to PE. Many older men feel stressed about their erections going from firm to iffy or worse and subconsciously think: I better use it before I lose it. I better ejaculate while I’m still hard. I suspect that your concerns about ED are causing the stress that’s leading to your PE.

    It’s a real drag to go from reliable erections to balky erections and then to ED. Loss of firm erections requires a big emotional adjustment. BUT the fact is, men can enjoy great sex and satisfying orgasms WITHOUT erections. That’s right, you don’t need an erection to have fun in bed or an orgasm. In an erotic context (candle light, music, lingerie, etc.) a man with a completely flaccid penis can come with the right stimulation—extended, lubricated hand massage, fellatio, and maybe sex toys. So your erections are changing but you can still enjoy great sex.

    To deal with your PE, I suggest you read my e-booklet, The Cure for Premature Ejaculation. It presents the program sex therapists have developed that helps around 90% of men learn (or re-learn) good ejaculatory control. You CAN last longer. The e-booklet should help.

    Now about pleasing your wife. Many women enjoy intercourse and also must adjust as their man ages and his erections become increasingly problematic. But only around 25% of women are reliably orgasmic just from intercourse. The reason is that the organ that triggers women’s orgasms, the clitoris, is not located in the vagina. It sits a couple inches above the vaginal opening under the upper junction of the vaginal lips. Intercourse provides some clitoral stimulation, but not enough the make most women come. Most women need direct clitoral caresses by hand, cunnilingus, or sex toys. In other words, women whose lovers have total ED can still enjoy great sex and satisfying orgasms without intercourse—if they receive extended clitoral stimulation as part of lovemaking that also includes lots of kissing, cuddling, and whole-body massage.

    You say you had a good sex life until your PE/ED started. You can continue to have a fulfilling sex life—if you adjust to aging. Instead of purchasing The Cure, you might consider purchasing The Best of Great Sex Guidance e-book. It contains The Cure for PE plus 100 other articles, including many about how men can better please and satisfy women, even without erections.

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