Supposedly, her first husband forced her to have rough sex and a mutual friend of ours told me to go easy on her before we got married. We were 26 and 33 when we married. As the years went by, she refused sex with me often saying, “You’re always after me for sex.” Your perspective? Our birth years are 1934 and 1941. We are divorced, but always wanted to understand our sexual life together.
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I’m sorry you didn’t contact me before your divorce. But so it goes.
From your brief description, it sounds like your ex experienced sexual abuse at the hands of her previous husband. That may well have turned her off to sex altogether. If you were still together, I would urge you into sex therapy. I’m confident a sex therapist could have encouraged her to vent and explored ways you could be happily sexual together. At this point, all I can say is that your next time around, please ask about your new love’s sexual history and if she’s had any significant problems or issues. If so, then both of you going to sex therapy may well help you enjoy each other’s intimate company. Or for a less expensive alternative, you might read my book together. From what others tell me, Sizzling Sex is a good discussion-starter.