I’m curious why I am always in the mood for sex. So I googled and came upon your Psychology Today blog. I am 61, happily married to my beautiful 50 year old wife of 27 years. Guess I’m one of the lucky few that can still get aroused 3-4 times a week although I am curious to why. Up until about five years ago I used to work out three times a week regularly and eat a very healthy salad with nuts and fruit and vegetables with olive oil every single day—until my son passed away. Then I stopped working out. I still eat the salad though. Also I picked up smoking again which I gave up years ago, and now smoke about a half a pack a day. Anyways getting back to the sexual desire thing. Should I be having sex this much at my age? Is it healthy? Am I abnormal? Just thought I’d ask. Thank you for your article in psychology today it was informative and I enjoyed it.
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I’m very sorry for your loss.
Why are you in the mood so often? Hard to say. There’s a huge range of normal libido from very little to your situation. Ironically, your loss may have something to do with it. In dealing with the death of close relatives, especially children, most people’s libidos get suppressed. But some find comfort in sex and orgasm, and serious loss may spur their desire.
Should you have sex as often as you’re doing it? Why not? Again there are huge individual differences. Only a small fraction of 61 year olds do it 3 or 4 times a week, but there are tens of millions of Americans your age. If only 1% are in your situation, that’s hundreds of thousands of people. There’s nothing abnormal or weird about your situation. Many older adults—and some younger folks— would envy you. Enjoy who you are. Enjoy your love life.
I hope you know that smoking is often a sex killer. It constricts the arteries that carry blood into the penis, so when men smoke, over time, they usually develop trouble raising erections. You already quit once. You can do it again, and if you want to continue having frequent sex, I urge you to quit again.
I wish you great sex.