If you’re confused about the G Spot, you’re not alone. Many women—and men—wonder: What is it? Where is it? Why can’t I find mine (or hers)? What’s it got to do with female ejaculation? Why do I “pee” when I come? Why can’t I ejaculate?
First, it’s important to understand that many questions about the G-spot remain unanswered. The reason, sadly, is political opposition to sex research. The U.S. federal government, a key source of funding, has largely withdrawn from G-spot research. And the drug industry, the other major source of funding, has not been interested because the G-spot seems unlikely to lead to the development of new medications. So we’re left with American research that was carried out largely in the 1980’s, and since then, with the reports of many women, and some research in Eastern Europe. A good deal is known, but many questions remain.
Graffenberg’s Forgotten Discovery
Back in the early 1940s, a German gynecologist, Ernst Graffenberg, along with an American colleague, Robert Dickinson, discovered “a zone of erogenous feeling… located along the suburethral surface of the anterior vaginal wall,” meaning, inside the vagina on the front wall (or top if the woman is on her back). In a 1950 article in the International Journal of Sexology, Graffenberg asserted that this erogenous zone contained erectile tissue, and swelled when massaged, and during orgasm.
Graffenberg did not name this area. At the time it was called, the “urethral sponge,” the area on the front wall of the vagina about a finger length in from the vaginal opening that surrounds the urethra. Many sexologists continue to call this area the urethral sponge today.
Graffenberg’s research lay virtually forgotten until the 1980s when sexologists John Perry, and Beverly Whipple rediscovered the fact that virtually all women have an area of sexual sensitivity on the front wall of their vaginas. In their studies, 90 to 100 percent of up to 400 women identified a sensitive area in the front vaginal wall. Perry and Whipple unearthed Graffenberg’s old research, and decided to rename the area known as the urethral sponge after him, the Graffenberg spot, or G-spot.
In 1982, Perry and Whipple publicized their findings in a best-selling book, The G-Spot And Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality. It triggered a stampede of interest in the suddenly-trendy G-spot. Millions of women and couples tried to find it. But only some succeeded, making the G-spot controversial.
Citing reports that many women feel nothing in the area Perry and Whipple identified as the G-spot, other researchers dismissed it. In the 1988 edition of their classic book, Human Sexuality, pioneering sex researchers William Masters, M.D., and Virginia Johnson (along with a new coauthor, R.C. Kolodny) asserted that Perry and Whipple had overstated the case, that only about 10 percent of women had sexually sensitive G-spots.
Perry and Whipple retorted that those unable to find the fabled spot were possibly misinformed. The G-spot was not really a “spot,” like a button or the navel, but rather a general area on the front wall of the vagina. And it did not lie on the front wall, but rather deep within it. It was most easily detectable when women were highly sexually aroused, when G-spot swelling made it easier to find. And it was easier for a lover to find than for the woman herself. Nonetheless, many women and couples still could not find theirs, or if they did, the woman did not find G-spot massage particularly pleasurable.
Highly Individual Reactions
Everybody’s different. Some women adore having their nipples suckled. Others like it, but don’t love it. And some find it uncomfortable. The same goes for the G-spot. Some women report mind-blowing orgasms from sustained G- spot stimulation. Others call it a modest sexual enhancement. And some feel nothing, or find G-spot stimulation uncomfortable. Explore your G-spot if you like, but try to avoid any preconceptions. Accept what you feel, whatever that may be.
How To Find It
The G-spot is easiest to locate—and most sensitive to touch—when a woman is already highly aroused. Women who want to find theirs should explore themselves during masturbation. It’s not that easy for a woman to feel her own G-spot. You can reach an inch or two into the vagina, but it’s difficult for a woman to press on the front wall of her own vagina. If you try, you may miss your G-sot.
Many women say it’s easiest to locate the G-spot if they are (1) on their backs with their knees pressed against their breasts, (2) squatting down, or (3) using a sex toy designed for G-spot exploration. G-spot toys are phallic vibrators or dildos with curved tips. When a woman lies on her back, she can insert the toy with the curved tip pointing up, and press it into the front (top) wall of her vagina. Move the toy around until you feel a change in erotic sensation, usually enhancement. Remember, the G-spot is not a “spot,” but a general area. Feel around. Your most sensitive area may be off to one side or the other.
Some women can only enjoy G Spot stimulation when a partner does it. With the woman on her back, legs spread, insert your index or middle finger, then hook it upward and stroke what in this position is the top of her vaginal wall.
The best position for G-spot stimulation during intercourse is doggie-style or rear entry, with the woman on hands and knees and the man behind her. In this position, the head of the penis can press against the G-spot. This makes some evolutionary sense. Other than humans, all other mammals have intercourse only in this position. It would make sense for it to have evolved to be pleasurable for the female.
When they find the G Spot, some women feel a momentary urge to urinate. This usually passes. If not, try urinating beforehand.
The G-Spot and Female Ejaculation
Meanwhile, researchers other than Perry and Whipple had independently investigated the urethral sponge, not for its sexual potential, but rather because they were interested in the paraurethral glands it contained. “Para” means around. The paraurethral glands are tiny fluid-producing structures located around the female urethra (urine tube). The first two were discovered by Alexander Skene in the 1880’s and were called Skene’s glands. Since then, several others have also been identified. The arrangement of these glands, and the fact that they produced fluid reminded the researchers of the male prostate gland, and some began calling the urethral sponge the “female prostate.” Recent research has strengthened the case that the paraurethral glands are, in fact, the female prostate.
Perry and Whipple incorporated this into their book, saying that when a woman is highly sexually aroused, with an aroused G-spot, the paraurethral glands secrete fluid that emerges on orgasm as “female ejaculation.”
Urination on Orgasm?
This observation seemed to explain a good deal of sexual history. Writers dating back to the first-century Roman physician, Galen, had remarked that women produce a “thin” fluid that “manifestly flows when they experience the greatest pleasure in coitus.” The ancient Indian Kama Sutra and centuries-old Japanese erotic works also mention fluid issuing from women during sexual arousal.
But both Alfred Kinsey, the first modern American sex researcher, and Masters and Johnson rejected the notion of female ejaculation, saying that some women simply produced a great deal of vaginal lubrication.
However, vaginal lubrication does not squirt out during orgasm. Many women notice that they release fluid this way. They may feel concerned about or embarrassed by the fact that they “urinate” during orgasm. Some women have examined this fluid and determined by color and odor that it is not urine. The most recent research confirms this.
It’s Not Urine
Female ejaculatory fluid is not urine. It appears to be a combination of dilute urine and secretions from the paraurethral glands. Some researchers say it’s most similar to the prostatic fluid that forms the bulk of semen in men.
Normal and Safe
How many women ejaculate? Depending on the survey, somewhere between 10 and 50 percent. But the amount released varies considerably from a few drops to much more.
It is perfectly safe for women to ejaculate. You may have to change the sheets or make love on a towel, but no harm has ever been associated with female ejaculation. In fact, one study suggests that women who ejaculate appear to enjoy some protection from bladder infections, presumably because ejaculation helps expel bacteria from the urethra.
It’s also perfectly normal not to ejaculate. Many women do not. If you don’t but would like to, we suggest extended foreplay with lots of G Spot massage.
Why do some women ejaculate while others do not? No one knows. But the process seems to be related to G-spot sensitivity. Women with sexually sensitive G-spots are the ones most likely to ejaculate. This makes physiological sense because the nerves that excite the clitoris also run along the sides of the vagina and cover the area around the G-spot, which includes the paraurethral glands.
How Men View It
Some lovers of women who ejaculate love the juiciness of it, the realization that the woman feels comfortable, relaxed, and loving enough to utterly let go. Others, however, are put off by the fluid, usually because they believe it’s urine. To help a dubious lover become more comfortable with your ejaculation, explain that the fluid is not urine, that female ejaculation is fairly common, and that it adds to the pleasure of your orgasm. You might share this article.