worried middle aged man at window

Lately, I have a new sex fantasy. Two years ago, I had my prostate removed. I have ED, but can dry climax. Now getting obsessed with eating another man’s semen from wife’s vagina or helping clean partners with bi sex. What can I do?


  • Michael Castleman says:

    It’s not surprising you’re having a new fantasy. Fantasies often depend on circumstances. Yours changed with your prostate surgery, so it’s totally understandable—and normal— that you’re having new fantasies. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your new fantasy. In fantasy, everything is permitted and nothing is abnormal.

    Should you try to make your fantasy come true? That’s up to you and your wife. The first step would be discussing it with her. Can you? Some men would be able to. Others not. There’s no right or wrong here, just what you personally feel comfortable doing. If you can’t bring it up, feel free to continue enjoying your fantasy. For greatest pleasure, exercise your imagination to make your fantasy as vivid as possible.

    If you can bring it up, and your wife says anything but, NO!, then you and she face negotiations about how to make it happen. I suggest proceeding very slowly, with lots and lots of discussion of how you both feel and all the “what-ifs,” all the complicated logistics of involving others in your sex life.

    One final thought. Quite often, when sex fantasies come true, fantasiszers feel shocked to discover that they don’t really want their much-daydreamed experience. The mind can play tricks. Sometimes fantasies are better left in the realm of the imagination. That said, I hope all your daydreams come true—or close to it.

    I wish you great sex.

  • JeremyZ says:

    I wonder if the removal of your prostate has caused hormonal changes that make your sexual self more “feminine.” I understand that this happens. Before your prostate removal, did you ever have these fantasies, imagining either someone else or yourself doing this? It’s possible you’re simply in the more feminine role in your sexual feelings now after the prostatectomy. Although some men have these same fantasies too, they sound rather on the submissive side in a bdsm sense. So I would say be glad that you still have any sex drive after the surgery, and enjoy your newfound “femininity” and submissive sexual feelings. I hope your wife appreciates and enjoys it. As Michael Castleman says, you may or may not want to act it out. Maybe just watching pornographic depictions of this with your wife, or writing/reading erotic stories about it will bring enough satisfaction.

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