I’m 28 and after a few comments from past boyfriends I have become extremely paranoid and insecure that my vagina is ‘looser’ than most. (I must add that it was usually me probing them for answers rather than them spontaneously commenting on it…) I probably could chalk this up to being very aroused if it wasn’t for how my vaginal entrance looks in the mirror compared to photos I’ve seen on the internet. (particularly the one on Wikipedia when you google ‘vagina’). Compared to many images and diagrams mine looks considerably larger/longer/open, which leads me to believe what these ex- lovers said is true. Am I being paranoid? Can you judge how tight/loose someone is from external appearances? It certainly affects my sex life worrying if they’re thinking, ‘This girl is loose,’ or when they take a long time to ejaculate I blame my lack of snugness. I’d very much appreciate any advice or reassurance about this as it has been a major complex of mine since the first comment. I did ask a nurse on the subject once but she didn’t provide much help.
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Your insecurity and paranoia are almost certainly unfounded. Vulvas and vaginas are like flower petals and snowflakes, every one unique, every one beautiful. If you’re really wondering if you’re normal, consult a physician or gynecologist.
As for what exes have said, what do they really know? And were they serious? You asked them. They didn’t volunteer anything.
The vast majority of men are convinced (incorrectly) that their penises are too small, and many women are convinced that they’re too tight or loose. There’s a tiny chance that you’re an outlier on the normal curve, but odds are you’re well within the normal range.
The standard recommendation for tightening up is to practice Kegel exercises. They’re very easy and no one knows you’re doing them, so you can do them any time anywhere. If you’re unfamiliar with Kegels, see my article on them.
Another approach is to have intercourse in the man-on-top position and then close your legs so the man lies atop your thighs with your thighs adding extra squeezing of his erection.
Or have intercourse in any position that allows you to reach between your legs and squeeze him with your hand while he’s inside you. You might also fondle his scrotum. Many men love this.
If an unprompted lover spontaneously observes that you’re too loose, well, maybe something is amiss. If not, then I’m guessing all is more or less fine and I hope you can transcend your paranoia, and relax about your genitals, and enjoy sex.