senior couple in bed

We are in our 80s. For the past year, we’ve met several times a month for companionship and sex. It has been wonderful and we have been learning so much about sex. She had children with no problem and never had any problems at the gynecologist. If we start a sex session without much foreplay because we are both excited, she feels a tenderness for a short time but seems not bothered by it. I notice that initial penetration can be difficult. With my fingers, I was surprised to feel like 2 vertical bands when she is lying on her back. These bands mildly resist one finger and prevent 2 fingers. Later with more arousal and natural lube I can insert 2 fingers. When she is aroused, my penis is hardly aware of the vaginal entrance. I am guessing she may have a partial hymen, but wouldn’t that have been opened during her vaginal childbirths? These bands feel like part of the vaginal entrance, inside just a bit. Otherwise, she is in very good health. In addition, at full penetration, the tip of my penis seems to enter a stiff cup at the end of her vagina.. Over the year of our activity, this tissue has become more pliable. By studying anatomy diagrams, I am guessing that this is the anterior fornex which had not been flexed until now. She gets great pleasure from this area and so do I. Thanks for any insights.


  • Michael Castleman says:

    I’m not a doctor or gynecologist. For medical opinions about your gal’s situation, I suggest you both visit her gynecologist or a sexual medicine specialist. To find a sexual medicine specialist near you, visit the North American Society for Sexual Medicine.

    She’s had children. It’s virtually inconceivable that she has any hymen tissue left.

    From your description, the vertical bands sound like connective tissue. There’s a good deal of connective tissue in the lower pelvis that holds women’s sex/reproductive organs in place. During late life, many women experience vaginal atrophy, thinning of the tissue of the vaginal wall. If she has atrophy, then the connective tissue behind her thinned vaginal wall may become more palpable. This may also explain the cup you feel. That’s my guess, but for a definitive answer, check with a gynecologist or sexual medicine specialist.

    You say that over the past year, her vaginal tissue has become more pliable. This also suggests vaginal atrophy. Many women feel fewer atrophy effects with ongoing lovemaking.

    Beyond getting a professional opinion or two, I urge you to engage in lots of non-genital play—like 20 minutes or so—before you reach between her legs. The should help her vaginal tissue relax. I also urge you to use lots of lubricant: saliva, vegetable oils, and commercial lubes. Experiment to see which one or which combination works best for your lover.

    I wish you great sex.

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